


Never Has & Never Will

by onlyhereforellick



Series: Angstober '20 [1]
Category: NCIS
Genre: F/M, fictober 20, post s17
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:36:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26753680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onlyhereforellick/pseuds/onlyhereforellick
Summary: What she’d heard...fuck.
Relationships: Ellie Bishop/Nick Torres
Series: Angstober '20 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1952188
Comments: 22
Kudos: 35





	Never Has & Never Will

**Author's Note:**

> Fictober ‘20 - “No come back!”

He settled on to his usual spot on the left of the couch—the divot of the cushions and warmth from the throw all too familiar for Nick. He felt the stagnant air beside him to the right, a wistful memory of Ellie sitting just inches from him that late night going through old cases. He refused to sit on that side, at first it was subconsciously until one day Jack brought it to his attention and things clicked. It was _her_ spot. He couldn’t and wouldn’t sit there, it was the spot reserved for her— _just like that empty hole in his heart_ , a wayward thought crossed his mind.

A slight shake of his head to clear the unwelcome memories, and Jack cleared her throat from the chair across the small space. Of course Nick had never told Jack the _real_ reason he didn’t sit on the right side, he didn’t need her getting any matchmaking ideas.

He knew he wasn’t good enough for Ellie, never would be. And so, long ago, he’d made a promise to himself he’d keep his little office crush secret. Yet even as he remembered his pact, a tiny voice whispered it had never been just an insignificant office crush, and it never would be.

He desperately needed a shift in conversation inside his head. Finally speaking up, ignoring whatever Jack’s last question was, Nick asked point blank, “Do we really still need these sessions, Jack? Aren’t I fixed yet?”

A ghost of a smile crossed her lips as if realizing the words mirrored the sentiment of another stubborn agent she dealt with too frequently. Jack answered calmly, “You’ve had a rough year or so, Nick. It’s okay to still need to talk through it.” She paused, choosing her next words carefully, “These aren’t mandatory anymore, Nick. If you still feel the pull to come, I’d wager there’s still something...or someone, weighing on you.”

He bristled at her choice of one particular word. His mind short-circuited and immediately filled with images of Ellie—her close calls with death, her worried eyes hiding behind jokes of his accident, her pained eyes at being relegated to a sister, her liveliness she filled the room and brightened each one of his days with.

The words tumbled out of his mouth without realizing he’d just played right into the hand of the therapist, “WhaaAAaAt? Ellie isn’t weighing on me!” He fought to bring down the pitch of his voice and failed miserably, “Why would you say that??”

Jack stayed silent but raised a single questions eyebrow.

Nick scoffed.

Mercifully his voice had returned to its normal timber, “There is _nothing_ between Ellie and I. Pfft, I mean zero chemistry, am I right?” Jimmy’s words echoed around his skull. “There’s nothing there, I see nothing there-“ Nick felt like a one man train wreck, staring at the himself crash and burn, but he couldn’t put an end to it, “hell I _feel_ nothing there. Ellie? She’s like a sister, a mother, practically even an abuelita for God’s sake. She is absolutely _not_ weighing on me, Jack. Never has and _never will_.”

His audible exhale after the unexpected tirade was met with an unfazed expression from Jack and a sudden loud clanging from right outside Jack’s propped open door.

From his crucial spot on the couch he had a direct line of sight at the threshold.

A mess of blonde hair tousled perfectly.  
A slim figure jerkily reaching down to get the objects dropped in shock.  
A hand quickly swiping at a stray tear betraying her cheek as the unfortunately timed interruption practically sprinted down the hall out of desperation.

_Fuck, Ellie._

Nick shot out of his seat faster than a bullet from his gun, Jack spinning around to address the commotion behind her. Not even sparing Jack parting words, he dodged the coffee table and ran to the door. Hand in a white-knuckling grip on the door jam the words, “No come back!” died on the tip of his tongue.

She was gone.

Not even in sight.

Gone.

What she’d heard... _fuck_.


End file.
